More

More days to spend with you

Sitting in the yard

Talking about our kids

Sharing our stories

Being us

More time to go with you

Hunting for bargains

Trying new restaurants

Hearing our favorite bands

Being us

More hopes to tell you

Dreaming of travels

Making plans for the future

Rejoicing in good news

Being us

More calls to you

Planning our walks

Ranting about work

Laughing over our silliness

Being us

More games to play with you

Rolling the dice

Racing down the river

Drawing our best

Being us

More of you and me

Being us

Me and Jennine, 2011/2012

Last

The last day that I saw Jennine was Friday, January 27 around 5:00pm.  She wanted to switch out Girl Scout cookies - trading her peanut butter sandwiches for more lemonades.  We visited for a bit, watched some television, before I made my way back home to fix supper for my family.

The last time that I spoke with Jennine was sometime during the weekend of January 28-29.  She was feeling worse and I was coming down with something. We continued to text.

The last time that Jennine was at home was the morning of Tuesday, January 31 before she was admitted to the hospital.  Her oxygen was dropping with no understanding of why it was happening. 

The last time that I laughed with Jennine (even if it was through texting) was Saturday, February 4 around 7:30am. She was hoping to move out of ICU.  Here's our text exchange with the funny typo:

The last text that I sent Jennine was on Saturday, February 4 at 9:24pm. 

She drew her last breath on Sunday, February 5 before 7:30am
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Kids

Jennine loved her kids to the moon and back! She was so proud of the young adults that her two children were growing in to.  She delighted in the thoughtful, intelligent, and sensitive young man that her son was becoming and embraced the strong, passionate and witty young woman that her daughter was becoming.

Jennine cared about their academic growth so much, that she and her family made the decision to homeschool. She put in the time and energy in planning thoughtful lessons and activities for her kids. She was so excited when they learned something new, solved a problem, or created an interesting product from their learning.

As her children grew into teenagers, she instilled in them strong values about family and friends, about honesty and compassion, about self-worth and determination. While they were certainly not without the occasional fuss or argument, she extended her children some leeway to make mistakes, to make their choices, to use their judgement about situations.

I remember her sharing some of what she learned at a parenting workshop offered through her church. Jennine liked the approach of presenting those tough situations and having those sticky conversations with her kids and talking through the possible decisions, reactions, and consequences with them.  She wasn't a heavy-handed parent, but she certainly wasn't a softee.  She demanded respect from her children, and she gave them the same respect to grow and learn, to make their way in this world.

Jennine was an incredible mother, and her two children are evidence of her love, her life, and her legacy.

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Just Jennine

Jennine was one of my best friends.  She was my cul-de-sac neighbor, my walking buddy, my game partner, my everyday gal. She was my go-to person for advice about raising my kid and suggestions on where to get a good deal.  She was my dinner date, my thrift store guide, and my last minute want-to-go-to-Kohl's shopping pal.

Jennine was the sister that I never had.  She was my confidante and my listening ear.  She was my escape partner. She was just Jennine.

Jennine was unpretentious. She was WYSIWYG: what you see is what you get.  For the most part, she was laid back, agreeable, and extremely likeable.  She was a true friend, always asking about my day, my work, my kid, my family.  She was often the last person that I talked to at night, via phone or text or instant message.  She was the first person that I would call for a girls' night out, for throwing a home party for some product, for trying something new that I had cooked, or for sharing good news about work, school, or family.

Many afternoons and evenings Jennine and I would sit in one of our driveways or the cul-de-sac, catching up, shooting the breeze, just being.  The beautiful spring days have been hard, missing my friend and our almost daily routine of conversations and relaxing in our yards.

Jennine was just a truly amazing friend. Now it's just me.

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Information and the Internet

My job as a teacher librarian is all about finding and sharing information.  My vocation is not lost on my friends:  I have helped them find the latest, greatest, newest information about whatever topic they needed.

Jennine and I were definitely information buddies and the internet was our friend.  Need to know something? Google it! Search it online! Be sure to use good search terms!

Throughout her homeschooling her children, Jennine used the internet to find great curriculum connections, lessons, and activities, I shared links to sites and videos that she could review and possibly use with her kids.

But once her children went back to public school, Jennine decided she wanted to work with other folks' kids, especially babies.  So when she decided to put herself out there as a nanny, she used the site Care.com to create an account.  Then we became internet detectives, searching for more information about the possible employers she might have.

Jennine would give me a name, and five minutes later, I would give her as much information as I could find about her postential employer.  Non-private Facebook page? Found it! Street address through county property site? Found it! Speeding ticket? Found it!

We used our skills for good, making sure that Jennine would have the best nanny situation with her new employers and babies.

But as her illness progressed and she was diagnosed a second time and then a third time, Jennine and I became internet doctors, reading and deciphering (usually asking our medical professional neighbors) the multisyllabic conditions that we found, the symptoms that seemed to fit this or that disease, and the possible prognosis for these illnesses. Sometimes these were late night conversations, sometimes they were lengthy texts with links, and sometimes these were quiet moments sitting in our cul-de-sac.

Knowledge is powerful and having the right information to inform decisions is important.  Jennine understood this, and she used the internet to build her knowledge and understanding of the diseases that ultimately took her power.

Homeschooling

After a couple of years in public schools, Jennine and her family decided that she would homeschool their two children. Using her own training and education as an elementary school teacher, she set out to create a curriculum that would help her children learn and meet state and national standards and that would give them and her some freedom to explore a variety of interests while building foundational skills.

It was obvious that Jennine was born a teacher.  She really enjoyed pulling together resources and materials for her kids, watching them learn and grow, and helping them develop into thinkers and scientists and mathematicians and readers.

One afternoon after my work, she called me, insisting that I had to come over and see what the kids had learned that day.  They'd been studying the skeletal system and learning all about the bones.  When I walked through her front door, I found her daughter in shorts with her legs labeled in magic marker - femur, tibia, fibula, and patella. The girl knew her bones; that's for sure! (And I can tell you that you could never do that in public school!)

Jennine loved the flexibility of homeschooling.  The kids readily finished their studies and the family enjoyed more free afternoons to play, to swim, and to take their own field trips.  Family vacations were already educational and homeschooling made the time frame for going on them a little more flexible.

While she was a little sad at their returning to public school for high school, she knew that she'd provided them a strong education with the love and care that only she could give them during those elementary and middle years.

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Games

Jennine loved games.  Board games. Card games. Act it out games. Dice games. It didn't seem to matter what the game (except for Monopoly), she was willing to play it.

The first time we were invited to Jennine's annual New Year's Eve game night, we learned what fierce competitors she and her family were.  They take game night seriously!  Funny, boisterous, determined, those folks were into the games!

Over the years, we've indulged in a number of regular game nights that eventually changed due to conflicts, schedules, timing.  For a while, we tried to get the neighborhood ladies together for games, but often that turned in to me and Jennine playing and everyone else just hanging out with us, still enjoying each others' company, but no way into the game like the two of us.

Jennine introduced me to Bunco with the ladies in her mother-in-law's apartment complex almost fifteen years ago. She and I were a part of the group off and on over the years, enjoying the intergenerational company and friendly wagers of the monthly Bunco night.

A few years ago, Jennine and I tried our hand at Pinochle with a couple of neighbors.  It was our regular Friday night meet-up for a couple of years, playing this old card game while listening to 70's and 80's music or the latest Christian praise and worship tunes. Good times, good company, good conversations.

Then there were the Sunday afternoon-meet-me-on-porch games of Rummikub with one neighbor.  We liked our porch sitting, and it was even better with the card table thrown up and a game set out.

We discovered a love for new games: Mexican train dominos, Up the River/Down the River, Telestrations.  We tried to coerce others to join us - You'll love this game!  - sometimes to be met with eagerness and other times reluctant excitement.

At some point, Jennine and I began to exchange birthday presents. (Our birthdays were a week a part: hers the day after Christmas and mine two days after the new year.)  Almost every year, Jennine gifted me with a new game. I saw this game and you have to try it!  I can't wait to play it with you!

We celebrated this past New Year's Eve with game night.  She was vibrant, as competitive as always, and the most gracious game night hostess, even with her worsening health issues. Some of my favorite memories of my friend will be our sitting at her kitchen table, playing games: good times, good company, good living.

New Year's Eve Game Night
with the Girls!
December 31, 2016

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