Friends and Family

Even through her treatments, her surgeries, her everyday ups and downs, what seemed like neverending migraines, and her low energy, I was always amazed at how in touch Jennine seemed to be with her friends and family all the time.

I called Jennine "my everyday friend" because we pretty much literally talked and/or texted each other everyday, especially in the last four or five years. She was part of my daily afternoon and evening routine, catching up on the day and sharing stuff that was happening with our families.

At some point over the years, I realized that she was that kind of friend to many folks, that she took the time to check-in with her brothers and sisters-in-law, her dad, our other neighbors, and many of her other friends on a regular basis.

One of our former neighbors called Jennine her "late night text buddy" because it was after most bedtimes and when Jennine couldn't sleep that the two would chat and catch up with one another.

Friends and family were really important to her.  She genuinely wanted to know what was happening in everyone's lives, and she remembered to follow-up and ask about the things that were shared, to call for birthdays and anniversaries, to make sure we were having wonderful days.

On the rare occasion that I'd have a day off or take vacation, I'd ask about doing lunch with her.  Inevitably she'd have a lunch date with her dad or another family member, or she was catching up with an old friend from school or the pre-school coop, or she was grabbing a bite with another mom who homeschooled.  She made it a priority to be in the lives of her friends and family, and she made you feel special because of that.

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Elizabeth

Jennine loved Elizabeth, just like she loved every baby that she ever met.

When I told her that I was expecting my baby girl, she was ecstatic.  I secretly think she was way more excited than I ever was.  We were only a year apart in age.  I was going on 38 years old, and she had started having her babies almost ten years earlier.  She shared great advice on what to look forward to and the wonderfulness of all things baby.

Once Elizabeth was born, Jennine became a huge part of her life.  She had a fancy new digital camera: we did not. So she insisted on taking pictures of my one and only. And she took tons of pictures, documenting month one, month two, month three and so on.

My favorite picture of Jennine and Little E is at one month old, when I actually snapped these two lovelies.

While I certainly loved my baby girl, I have never been a true baby person.  Jennine, on the other hand, could not get enough.  Holding, squeezing, rocking, just plain loving on my girl was the world for her.  She'd told me that being a mother was always her dream.  She loved her two children like crazy, but there was something about babies that really made her day.

As she grew, Elizabeth started requesting for me to call Jennine or to go see Miss Neen or to see if Miss Jennine wanted to sit outside with us.  She loved going to the thrift store, playing games, or just hanging out with Jennine, just like I did.

The morning that Jennine died, I sat with Elizabeth on the couch and we talked about all the wonderful times and memories that we had with her.  I was a blubbery mess, but Elizabeth was a little more stoic.  When I finally told her that it was okay to be sad about our friend, it was like I had given her permission to cry. As I hugged her, I told her how much Jennine had loved her and her simple response was, "I know."

About a week later, Elizabeth talked about going next door to Jennine's house to see her mother-in-law. "I guess we can't call it Miss Jennine's anymore, though."

"Yes, baby. It will always be Miss Jennine's."

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Dancing at Coglin's

We are definitely children of the 80's, and when Jennine and I found out there was a new 80's and 90's bar in downtown, we knew we'd found a great place for a girls' night out.

The first time we went dancing at Coglin's we realized that we were not the twenty-somethings we used to be, but we did know that 80's music is still the best music.  We showed up some time after 9:00pm and the place was almost empty.  We'd forgotten that parties don't truly start until after 11:00pm and closer to midnight in the bar-hopping world.  But even that realization didn't stop us from taking in the 80's memorabilia.

Remember Ferris Bueller?  Man, what a movie! And seriously, who didn't absolutely love Top Gun?!

So as the DJ set up, we chatted with him about the venue, staked claim to a couch on the stage in the window, and prepared for the ear-splitting thumps of Salt-n-Pepa and Michael Jackson and Rick James and Soft Cell.  We danced, we sang, and we were home before midnight, just when the "young enough to be our kids" crowd started packing the place.

We danced there a few more times over the years.  The last time we partied at Coglin's (Feb 2013) we took the girls in the neighborhood and few other friends to this jumping joint.  It was another celebration of life: girls out on the town, enjoying each others' company, confident about ourselves to dance and sing and be silly in public to (let me remind you) the best music ever.

Here's a great picture of us out on the town that night at Coglin's (Jennine on the far left and me on the far right with our friends in between and below):



When this picture came up in my Facebook memory feed this year, I texted Jennine, who had been in the hospital for four days by then: Looking forward to dancing with you and the girls again!

Her response, along with her "Let's Party" Bitmoji: Wow! That was a lot of fun! Yes, once I can breath, we should go dancing before it gets too hot!

I miss my dance partner for girls' night out, but we know you're dancing with angels now, friend.

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Concerts

Jennine loved concerts. Whether it was going to hear Darius Rucker with her sister-in-law or Maroon Five with the girls from the 'hood or Def Leppard with me, she was up for a good concert, especially if there was a buy-one-get-one Groupon or other discount.

She'd told me that Def Leppard was one of her favorites.  So when they were scheduled to come to town a couple of years ago, we bought our lawn tickets for the amphitheatre venue and planned our mid-summer outing.  Def Lppard was opening for Kiss. What kind of crowd could we expect? Hard rockers of all ages? Women in their 40's still drooling over their band crush? Young people discovering "new" tunes in our "old" music?

We rocked! We rolled! We sang! We cheered!  The band did all of our favorites, as we shared our teenaged memories and made new memories together.

When Def Leppard returned the summer of 2016, we knew we wanted to go again.  The band was actually headlining this time and REO Speedwagon was opening for them.  We readied for another trip down memory lane, and we were not disappointed.

One of my favorite pictures of the two of us was taken at this concert.

In January, she was hoping and planning to attend the March concert of Christian group, Casting Crowns, with another good friend.  She passed on February 5.  Our friend shared this beautiful message from the concert:

Oh, my soul

You are not alone

There's a place where fear has to face the God you know

One more day, He will make a way

Let Him show you how, you can lay this down

'Cause you're not alone

 With our eyes toward heaven and Jennine in our hearts, we are not alone.

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Beaches

Jennine loved the beach.  Her family has had a house on the NC coast since the mid-80's, so she grew up going there in the summers for years.

When I met Jennine 15 years ago and we started scrapbooking together, she immediately thought we should go to the beach for a girls' weekend, dragging all the scrapbooking stickers, papers, albums, and photographs with us.  It was my first trip with her to the beach.

In May 2006, I needed to attend a conference at the beach for work. I was expecting and not too thrilled about driving and being a few hours from home by myself.  So Jennine offered to go with me for the three days.  I was worried that she'd be bored, but she was completely satisfied.  It was at the beach. How can you be bored at the beach? she said.  In between my meetings, we ate really good food, we watched the ocean waves from our room (I don't remember actually walking on the beach, maybe we did), and she introduced me to Gray's Anatomy by way of the season finale.

While I was home with my daughter during her first year, Jennine suggested that we take the kids to the beach.  We were both flexible: I was not working, staying home with Little E, and she was staying home, homeschooling her on two kids. Such a fun week, watching her kids play with my baby, introducing the water and sand to my six month old, and seeing the pure happiness on Jennine's face at having family and friends together. (Not to mention, that she adored babies!)

The last time that I went to the beach with Jennine was September 2015.  It was a celebration of being cancer-free, being done with chemo, and almost being done with surgeries.  She spent over a week at her favorite place, while groups of friends came for three to four days at a time.  We played games, watched movies, ate yummy seafood, and just hung out. It was a wonderful time with my friend.

"Every time I stand before a beautiful beach, its waves seem to whisper to me: If you choose the simple things and find joy in nature’s simple treasures, life and living need not be so hard." -- Psyche Roxas-Mendoza

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Artistic Abandon

While I loved to draw and paint and color as a kid, I had not done so, other than a moment here and there with my own young kid, in a really long time.  So when Jennine found the Groupon to ArtisticAbandon, one of those places for painting and drinking wine with your girlfriends, she said we absolutely should try it out.  So we each bought the Groupon for the half-priced night of fun and planned our girls’ night out.

Deciding on a painting wasn’t too hard: we both like the whimsical version of Van Gogh’s Starry Night and we were confident that we would have a great time painting and hanging out, although neither of us cared for wine.  And what a great night we had!  The artist who taught the group was skillful and witty, keeping us on track with our painting and ringing the bell for us to turn up our glasses!  Jennine and I stuck with our water bottles, and we ended the two hour event with our own bright bluish purplish paintings of the stars and moon of the renowned Van Gogh.  Jennine hung her painting in her kitchen.

We ventured back to Artistic Abandon for another girls’ night with our other three neighbors in tow in November 2015.  Jennine was in the middle of her second breast cancer diagnosis and also dealing with a shoulder injury that affected her using her right arm.  Ever the trooper, she was determined to spend the evening painting with us and avoided overusing her arm days before and after our night out.  That night we painted a beautiful sunrise of yellows and pinks and the saying, ‘Today I Will Choose Joy.’

Her ‘Joy’ painting stood with her beautiful picture at her celebration of life. My ‘Joy’ canvas sits on my dresser as an everyday reminder to the wonderful, joyful things in my life, including my amazing friend Jennine. 

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Blogging A to Z Challenge

It’s been a few years since I accepted the challenge to blog during the month of April. In 2013 I focused on foods and in 2012 I focused on my A to Z bucket list. I’ve neglected my blog for a while – a rare post here and there – but I’m moved to write again this April.

So I’ve accepted the Blogging A to Z Challenge for 2017!  My focus this year will be writing about my friend Jennine who lost her battle with breast cancer in February.

(Unfortunately our home network has been down, so I’m already starting off behind!  I’m looking forward to catching up, though!)

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